"DEAR OLGA"



Olga, the Traveling Bra's
ADVICE COLUMN
Dear Olga:
I was just wondering, is there anything to
this astrological stuff.  Four of my closest
friends are Tauruses, my opposite sign,
astrologically speaking (I'm a Scorpio).
They all seem to be going through similar
life circumstances.  I would chalk this up
to a mid-life crises, but one of them is
quite a few years younger than the rest who
are now turning 49.  
Signed,
Perplexed in Petaluma

Dear Perplexed;
Sounds like a bunch of bull to me.
-Olga

    Olga, the Traveling Bra
Dear Olga:
My horse is gaining weight and getting
pretty fat...what do you think I should do?
Signed,
Bowlegged

Dear Bowlegged;
Lots of exercise & limit sweets. As for
the horse, how about sending her to one of
those trendy weight-loss ranches in Palm
Springs or Arizona?
-Olga
Dear Olga:
I am thinking of getting one of those
wireless meat thermometers that can tell
how hot my meat is from 100 feet away...I
hear they are very popular with some
Italian chefs.  What do you think?
Signed,
Well-Done

Dear Well-Done;
I whole-heartedly support any device that
enables one to make a tasty risotto
AND
BBQ chicken at the same time!  But Olga
does not require a thermometer to know
how hot one's meat is...she can tell just
by looking.
-Olga
Dear Olga:
I am wondering which of the three cup
sizes do men like the most?

Signed,
Does Size Matter?












































Dear Size Matters;
I asked an old duffer this very question
just the other day!  And he told me,
"The bigger the better!"  Now, isn't
that just par for the course?!
-Olga
Dear Olga:
Hey, I went ahead and got that wireless
meat thermometer and it works
great...now
I'm King of the Grill
and the Kitchen!  
But I'm wondering...do you think it would
be better to marinate or rub my meat
before BBQing?
Signed,
Well-Done
 

Dear Well-Done:
Nice to hear from you again! I referred
your question to an old friend of mine
who, having spent years perfecting the
art of seasoning his meat, is pretty much
"The Expert" on this subject.  He says:
"I've found that I've had more success
with the rub, applied with just enough
pressure so as not to bruise the meat.  
It seems to result in a juicier, more
tender final product."
"The Expert" seems to have a pretty firm
grasp on things, so I'd do what says.
-Olga
Dear Olga:
Hi - it's me, Well Done, again.  Sorry to
bug you but....I did exactly what The
Expert said and my meat wasn't tender at
all...in fact it was hard as a rock!  
What's up with that?!
Signed,
Well-Done (again)

Dear Well Done (again):
I have no clue, but this is what "The
Expert" suggests:
"Here's a little known
secret of mine...I find that if you add
some whipped cream to the marinade you
can also achieve your desired results.  
But personally, I still prefer a rub."
Hope that helps with your problem. Good
luck!
-Olga
Dear Olga:
My friends think I have "too much time on
my hands" just because I'm always reading
your website & blog! You don't think I'm
obsessed, do you?!
Signed,
Your #1 Fan

Dear #1 Fan;
I believe it isn't how much time you have
on your hands that matters...it's what
you
do with that time that counts!  
And remember what a little, but not so
old, Italian lady once told me;
Obsession
is worth the laughter that is created.  
-Olga
PS:  THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT!
Dear Olga:

I have noticed that, although you have
traveled extensively these past few
months, you have failed to attend ONE
sporting event.  Don't you think it is
high time to expand your horizons?  
Perhaps attend a Cardinal or Suns game?  
Signed,
NFL/NBA Babe

Dear Babe:
I'm game! Even thought I'm not a sports
bra, I do like to play around. And I'd
love to get up close and personal with a
professional athlete...do you have some
kind of connections or what?  
Send tickets ASAP.  
-Olga
Dear Olga:

There is an "old adage", when on the run,
to head North. But I am headed South
(Miss Independent - NO one tells me what
to do)- must have something to do with my
first trip to AZ at Point South Mountain
- I am wearing THAT baseball cap.  So, I
headed South, instead of North.  Must
have SOMETHING to do with left handed
quarter backs and the name Steve (Nash
not Young or maybe both)????  Now, I am
"Leaving for Las Vegas"  - destination
Arizona.  NFL/NBA here I come. :-)

Signed,
Directionally Challenged

Dear Directionally Challenged:
Huh?  What?!  Where!?  You really do seem
to have lost your bearings now, haven't
you dearie?  My advice is to get a map
and compass...then take the first star to
the left, and straight on till morning.
That should get you where it sounds like
you're
headed.  Say "hi" to Tink for me.  
-Olga
Please note: Olga, the Traveling Bra doesn't have a clue when it comes to giving
medical or legal advice, so please don't ask.
Travel, fashion, music & relationships are definitely more her bag!  

And, Olga, the Traveling Bra isn't responsible for the content of these questions, just the answers.
Do YOU have a QUESTION or comment for Olga, the Traveling Bra?  
Click on the black bra in the
red box (above) and Olga will answer it here!
Dear Olga,
I like the 2 bouncy smiley faces on this
page
(see Contact Olga page)...Which got me
thinking...in this politically correct
world, what's the best term for...you
know...those bouncy things you hold?
Pillows...The Girls...Ta Tas...Breasts...
Boobies...Titties? (Don't like that one
myself.)
Help - I need your advice!  And this is
right up your alley or should I say bra
straps?
Signed,
Drowsey

Dear Drowsey;
You mean these big ol' bodacious
Bazookas?!  
Well, I just love my "Girls"...but have met
some lovely Knockers, Hooters, Jugs, Melons,
and Chi-Chis in my time!  
But seriously, this is an area of personal
taste...so, let's keep politics out of it,
shall we?  
-Olga
Dear Olga,
Hello!  Help me...I am a woman who loves
women and I too have the biggest big'uns that
modern man has ever seen...well, big...maybe
not the BIGGEST..anycrap...here is my
quandry...when other well endowed women wanna
"hang out" with me, mine...it makes physical
closeness difficult..is there a
solution for this?
Signed,
Big Breast-s in Beaumont

Dear Big Breast-s;
Yours is a classic example of "too much of a
good thing"...er, I mean, "things."  
Fortunately, as long as you are both willing
to cooperate and remain flexible, these
things usually have a way of working
themselves out.  Good luck!
-Olga
PS: Is your real name
Maxi by any chance?
Dear Olga -
I am having company over, so what kind of wine
should I serve them?
I'm serving Kraft Dinner and wieners. I've
served Port in the past, but I don't think its
quite right for the unique blend of flavours.
Signed,
What's Cookin' in Paradise

Dear What's Cookin';
What IS it with you Canadians and Kraft Dinner
with wieners?!?  Unfortunately, your question
falls outside my area of expertise, so I
consulted a good friend of mine who is
somewhat of an expert on Canadian cuisine ~
and here's what
Crusty suggests:
"I recommend a fine Budweiser preferably with
a freshness date within the last month..this
especially applies if one uses Frank's
RedHot
to spice things up..as it cools the palette if
one happen to overdo it.

Another highly recommended aperitif is a 50/50
mixture of Guinness and Uncle Alf's knockout
cider..which has to be treated with the utmost
respect as it will knock you on your keister
if your not careful!

And I highly recommend the Triple Cheese Kraft
Dinner if you have company coming over you
want to impress.
Cheers - hug a redneck!"
Mmmmm-mmm! Sounds dee-lish!  
~Olga
PS:  Where the heck is Paradise?!?
PSS:  Thanks Crusty!
Dear Olga -
I have humiliated myself in a wager with a young
lass and had to get my chest hair waxed...it's
very embarrassing.  Now that it has become
public (
see here) some fellow bloggers want me
to post a picture of my chest which is returning
to it's original state but is itching like
crazy! Should I submit myself to more
humiliation or not..???
Signed,
Crusty (& Now Also Itchy) in Canada

Dear Crusty;
I am dreadfully sorry to hear about that
chest-waxing...ooooh!...I bet that hurt a lot
more than loosing a bet to a
woman and then
posting about it on your blog, eh?  
YES!  Post that picture and do it quick! You
might get a date outta it!  
~Olga

UPDATE:  Crusty wisely took my advice - see here.
Dear Olga -
I really am liking all the fashionable bra
options my girlfriend has nowadays. As I am old
enough to be her father, I find her choice of
undergarments severely erotic. I can't seem to
distract her from her obsession with her weight
to understand that I want to make crazy love to
her all the time. She is not fat is any sense of
the word and drives me totally crazy. How can i
help her?
Signed,
John

Dear John;
Aren't those teenage mood swings awful?  Really
John, how about picking on, I mean dating
someone your own age?  Older women can drive you
totally crazy too ya know...and something tells
me it would be a pretty short trip.
;)
~Olga
Aww Olga -
I was hoping for something a little more
constructive. I also thought the pre-mature
comment was unnecessary. But then you wear a
bra, so I guess its not so surprising. There is
nothing wrong with having a younger
girlfriend...and NO she is not a teenager.
Rather she is a well educated young woman.
Truly, I have dated older gals (age
appropriate?)but generally they either are far
too angry with men in general or not really
interested. I mean to say, I think they would do
just as well with another gal, or a machine or
perhaps someone young enough to be their son. A
thinking man is far to problematic. Let's face
it middle aged men often are attracted to or
attracted by younger women. Take a look around!
Does this make us all perverts? I don't think
so. It seems pretty natural to us. My question
was an honest one. This woman is a wonderful
person but I think her obsession with her self
image really holds her back, I was hoping that a
women's perspective may shed some light.
Hopefully you understand my question better.
Thanks.
Signed,
John

Dear John;
I appreciate your heartfelt response to my
snarky answer...and apologize for any offense
that may have been taken.  However, please
remember that I am, after all, a
BRA and this
advice column is meant to be taken verrrrry
lightly.  As you can see in my other answers, I
am very UPfront with my opinions and maybe even
a bit PUSHY regarding my answers...sorry, that's
just how I'm wired.  

All that aside, you sound like a nice man and I
do appreciate your concerns about your
girlfriend's body image... My advice is to just
keep on loving her and telling her she looks
hot...like a lot of women, she's probably just a
little insecure.  But she's wearing that sexy
lingerie for a reason you know...because she
knows YOU like it!  So relax and enjoy!
Best of luck to you,
Olga, the Traveling Bra

Update: I'm happy to report that Johnny and I
have hugged and made up and are now friends!
:)
Dear Olga -
My neighbour, Buns of Steel, can't park her
damn car straight and invades my parking spot
with her damn big Caddy SUV!
I have tried to be diplomatic telling her
things like
"Hey you with the nice
ass...where'd ja get your license?...In a
Cracker Jack box?!"
 
But this tactic doesn't seem to work..any
suggestions?
Signed,
Squeezed Out

Dear Squeezed Out;
Obviously your
subtleties are lost on Ms. Buns
of Steel...so you're gonna have to be more
direct. How about inviting her little buns over
for a couple of stiff shots of JD and a
friendly game of "
Space Invaders"?!  After you
beat her butt a few times, I bet she'll
straighten right out!

And if that doesn't work, how about erecting
some barbed wired around your parking place and
installing one of these?












Good luck! And please - keep me abreast of this
situation.
~Olga
Hello Olga -  
How are you? I wish you'll have a great 2008!
I'm writing to you, to ask if you can help me
improving
this post I've wrote.  It's a list of
general questions that beginners hikers do.
I'll appreciate every suggestions. If you like
you can send me questions I forgot so I'll add
to the list with a link back to you.
Very thanks and keep posting your great
articles.
Warm regards Olga,
Enrico from Italy

Dear Enrico;
That's a great post - you provided a lot of
good information!  I don't think I could add
anything other than women might want to be sure
to wear a supportive bra or a sports bra to
keep "things" under control!  :)
~Olga
PS:  Someday I hope to visit
Bra, Italy!  Maybe
we could hook up and take a little hike
together!
Update:  Check out even more hiking tips at
Enrico's
blog!
Dear Olga -
I loved the Olga Truly Timeless Bra Style #35119.
It was discontinued and I'm wondering what other
Olga product is most like the Truly Timeless Bra?
Signed,
Searching For A Bra to Call My Own

Dear Searching;
Although I never met Style #35119 personally, I
hear she was a lovely bra who worked hard and
retired early. (We bras avoid using the term
"discontinued.") But I think there still are a
few die-hard models hanging around on E-Bay
working for cheap.
 Check it out.
~Olga
Dear Olga -
I am a married woman and while I'm no sloven
slouch, my breasts have taken a beating.  No,
not the kind that leave marks, but they aren't
as pert and well...wonderful as they once were.

Would you recommend a breast lift or should I
just let nature take it's course?  My hubby
cares not, since  to him, since breast-tises are
breast-tises.  I am fearful however, that the
twins will wind up tucked into a waist band at
some point.  What say you, oh wise underwire?  
Signed,
The Mrs

Dear The Mrs;
Well, I guess you could always buy pants with a
lower waist band!!  Seriously, it's a sad fact
of life that what once was up, surely will come
down. Luckily for you, your hubby seems to have
a pretty good grip on things (tee-hee)...so I
say spare yourself the pain/expense of surgery
and find yourself a nice supportive bra instead.
I can refer ya to some friends of mine if you
like!  Now yank up your straps sweetie, and go
give your hubby a great big hug!  
~Olga